Working My Buns Off

*ERRHH!!!*ERRHH!!!*ERRHH!!!*

My alarm asserts that it is time to wake, but I beg to differ. 6:30 AM and a new day has begun. After a healthy breakfast and a shower I make my way via the Illinois Tollway system to my first job of the day: Biochemical Research at Northern Illinois University.


The faint of heart beware, for I conduct REAL SCIENCE from the reasonable hours of the morning until the late afternoon. Bacterial transformation, DNA sequencing, protein purification, xray crystallography, and microcalorimetry make up only part of what may consume my day to day. Donning a white lab coat that would make Bill Nye proud, I pipette with great efficacy to discover the unknown. It seems fitting as I wander from lab bench to lab bench that Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" choruses in my head.

I've found that I truly love working in a lab. Each day brings new challenges and the hands on experience has concreted so many of the scientific concepts I'm working with. (More on the specific research projects later).


Finishing my experiments for the day I weave through the endless construction barriers to return from whence I came. I typically have a few moments to gather my thoughts before I begin my second job of the day: summer programs at the residential school where I work.


These summer programs include tasks like tutoring science, implementing local excursions, and lending an open ear. My day wraps up at about 11PM or 12AM depending.


Then I start all over again.


Needless to say it has been a busy existence, but it's quite delightful. By the end of the summer I'll have been part of three different summer programs (all with varying time frames and different goals), put in a great many hours in a real laboratory, and enjoyed 1 day off a week (excluding the week of Independence Day).


Summer is great, but I'm working my buns off.


Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that I'm still volunteering at the hospital every other week...

A fine layer of dust

Approaching the keyboard he found it caked with a fine layer of dust. Though it was precariously evocative in a "Modern Gone Retro Instagram Photo Shoot" sort of way, it was sadly the reality he had come to. Having hadn't published a blog post in months, his readers wondered at what point such severe drought becomes extinction. With a deep breath he cleared away the filth and sat down to begin unleashing his soul through his fingertips.


Well perhaps "unleashing my soul" is a bit of a stretch, but it is fine time to revive my typing skills (acquired primarily in 6th grade "typing" class thank you very much!).


As far as this blog is concerned, I'll admit that I've been selfish. It takes a good deal of effort to write a post in the manner that I find worth publishing. I'm a true perfectionist when authoring pretty well anything. Heck, I probably average 5 minutes each time I create a witty Facebook status. "My name is Sam, and I have a problem." I know. Quite frankly majoring in rhetorical analysis the first time round in my undergraduate studies did not help this quirk.


Taking my time is not a sin, but at some point I just need to start throwing something out there into the vast abyss of the internet. Not everything I write will be gold... clearly.




The MCAT swarms my thoughts quite frequently these days. Specifically determining what study method to use has been the pressure point that consumes me. Reading through the Student Doctor Network and talking to friends has given me such a breadth of knowledge about what is out there. Some claim that Kaplan is the greatest force the MCAT has ever faced, yet others deny that readily. Some suggest studying for 3 months straight with a combination of thick literature, yet others swear by notecards.


I know for certain that I want to take at least 4 or 5 fully timed practice exams from AMCAS, but beyond that I'm uncertain. If you have any suggestions, I'm not quite yet overwhelmed by my options, and I'm certainly willing and open to many methods of study.


Until I decide my summer will consist of the equivalent to two simultaneous full time jobs so that I can save as much money as possible to pay for whatever prep my roulette wheel turns up with. (More on this in my next post.)

Some Current Motivations

Being a post-bac student comes with the perks of having many friends who are ahead of me on the path to medicine. On the rare occasions that I get to visit with these dear compatriots, it is tremendous and refreshing to be amongst others of like mind and similar passion. Moreover, in these precious times, they always seem to know the right questions to ask me. Specifically the question that I've been hearing most often from these premed/medical/postmed friends is, "are you getting burned out?"

"Am I getting burned out?" I ask myself. Well, no... I'm not getting burned out. This is not to say a day will not come when burn out strikes with vigor and abundance, but I'd have to say the following motivations are definitely pushing me in the proper direction.

Firstly it is a joy when I'm able to help any of my students here with their homework. There's just something indescribably pure about the look on a "tutee's" face when they finally understand a concept they've been wrestling. At such a prodigious institution these students are thrown scientific curveballs on a regular basis, and if I'm able to give some quality coaching it's been a great day.

Secondly I've been slowly reading the book Hope In Hell. This book gives a little insight to what it really means to be a "Doctor Without Borders." I'm not positive Doctors Without Borders is the service sector of medical practice for me, but the gritty realism of third world issues definitely captures the core of me.

Lastly I found great inspiration by the number of my students who donated to the Children's Miracle Network today! Granted IHOP delivered them free pancakes in exchange for a donation... Nonetheless, they chose to support a tremendous cause that I hope to one day be a bigger part of.

Currently standing strong and not burnt out yet. Bring on the next 7 hour study session!

A Longer Awaited Update

Since my last blog post I've completed an entire semester's worth of academic and professional work. To be honest, I probably did myself a sincere disservice by such neglect for this blog. It is thoroughly true that I do function better when my ideas are written out, and moreover it gives me the opportunity to start conversation with any who dare read the ramblings of this "non-traditional" medical journey.

That said, here is the last semester recap.

General Chemistry at NIU proved an enjoyable class, though the lab lacked challenge and creativity. The professor's strict application of his syllabus left little room for error, which I liked. Tests were challenging, but the homework was lacking... I may be the only NIU student ever who longed for more homework. All in all this course was a great refresher, and I now know more about molecular geometry than I ever had.

General Biology started with a pretty tough exam, then lightened up quickly. It was the first semester the professor had taught which meant she was trying to find a happy medium for difficulty and number of people who passed the class. Unfortunately I felt that the course lightened up too much. Biology lab did fulfill my need for legitimate course work though. The labs were relevant and really had me spend additional time with material that I had breezed past before.

This semester has brought a new set of challenges: General Chemistry II and Microbiology. Microbiology will prove much more challenging considering it is a 300 level course and the grade is solely based on performance in the lab and 3 exams... General Chemistry is already looking even more informative than the first semester. Our homework is more consistent and really forces us to know the chapters inside and out. Nailed the first exam yesterday.

With my new schedule in place I'm hoping to start volunteering at the hospital again. Not being there to serve in the hospital on a weekly basis has definitely has taken a toll on me because when I'm there it feels just right.

More updates to come. Until then, know that I haven't fallen off a cliff and that I'm still going strong.

A Long Overdue Update

If this blog were a library book, I'd be concerned about my overdue fines...

This past month has been eventful, to say the least.

Firstly, I finished my physics II class. I made the mistake of calculating the minimum score required for my final to guarantee an A. Had I remained oblivious I would have studied harder... In any case, I was pleased with the outcome.

The weekend after I finished my final, I attended a wedding of Golden standards. (Yeah, that's the pun telling you my friend's last name is Golden.)  It was tremendous fun supporting my friends, visiting with others I haven't seen in well over a year, and of course hitting the dance floor.

After a few tremendous days with my family it was back to work. Not even a week after my final I was in training to kick off the new school year. In full earnest, training is delightful the second year around due to its brevity. :)

The following weekend I found myself at another good friend's wedding that had Constant class and energy.(Hooray for continued last name puns!) With Erlenmeyer flask center pieces and a dance floor inhabited by friends, I had nearly forgotten that I'd be receiving my first batch of students at IMSA in less than12 hours.

This led to a blur of a first week back at work. Though I worked at least 90 hours (not all recorded), the week still flew by. I met my new sophomores (all of whom are quality young men), welcomed back all of the returning students, and tried to get a grasp of what this new year will be like.

Before I knew it I was back in the fabled state of Michigan to attend a wedding for the third weekend in a row. This wedding unfortunately did not lend itself so easily to last name puns... (Believe me, you'd boo if I typed the one I was thinking) In any case it was tremendous getting to spend time with many friends in celebration, especially after such a long work week. It was especially great catching up with my gracious hosts and two of my best friends Nicole and Justin Rieth.

After attending this fifth wedding of the summer, Monday the 22nd brought my first day of regular semester classes. This semester I have General Chemistry, Biology, and their respective labs before me. The first week transpired and I felt underwhelmed to say the least... I know the classes will pick up soon, but relearning significant figures for a full week feels like a joke after two full semesters of college physics taken over an 8 week period.

My initial impressions of the professors is good, though I will say that sitting in a class of nearly 200 people is much different from any of the Hope College lectures I was used to. I've already introduced myself to each of my professors to be sure that I'm known, and I sit in the front third of the classroom to make the lecture seem a bit more intimate. I will say the enlarged format isn't daunting, but it is distracting. If I had a nickel for every text that was sent in either of the lecture halls I frequent, I'd be a thousandaire in a disturbingly short period of time.

I'm looking forward to the busyness that draws near. Working full time and taking 8 credit hours will truly be a gift. That said, I will be sure to update sooner next time!

A HOT Weekend

This past weekend I was able to shadow my good friend Andrea at the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin in Milwaukee. This was a great opportunity because Andrea is a H.O.T. nurse, that is to say she works on the Hematology, Oncology, Transplant floor. In layman terms, her floor deals entirely with childhood cancers.

As I mentioned in my last post I was a bit nervous for this endeavor. I wasn't sure what to expect considering the great tribulation cancer has been for my family. But in hindsight, I'm unsure why I ever held such anxiety.

Shadowing Andrea for the whole of her 12 hour shift allowed me some great opportunities. First and foremost was my allowance to be in such a unique environment as the Wisconsin Children's Hospital. There is something so special about the atmosphere of a hospital that I can't quite describe in the extent that I'd like. In short I'll merely say that the ambiance is truly enlivening for me on a very distinct level. This floor proved no different with its cheery colored paint scheme and it's sense of busyness.

My day progressed by meeting the patients that Andrea would be caring for that day and following her through some of her daily routine. With respect to confidentiality I'll not go into detail about the kids, but I can tell you that this was the first time I'd first hand seen chemo therapy administered among a slew of other things. I washed my hands more times than I remember and best of all I put some smiles onto a few kids faces.

When I wasn't tagging along with Andrea I was either interacting with the doctors or patients on the floor. Though much of the medical jargon was lost on me, I was happy as a clam to make rounds with the docs. This time mostly entailed the two residents sharing updates on each patient to the fellow and attending doctors. With their rolling computer stations, they were quite a sight to see scribbling additional notes and nodding their heads from time to time. Later in the afternoon I was able to ask them a few questions about their path to pediatrics.

The time I was able to spend with patients was awesome. I'll tell you, nothing beats watching Disney's animated Robin Hood while playing with superhero action figures as a means to change a routine IV. Granted, as a visitor I got to spend a bit more time with the patients than I would as a doctor, but the general concept of an improved and encouraging bedside manner still remains.

This concept of patient doctor relationship etiquette is one that I have been tossing around for a while. In fact, it is for this reason that I'm incredibly appreciative for both my time volunteering in the Same Day Surgery Unit at Delnor Hospital and having the opportunity to shadow a nurse rather than a doctor this past weekend. The more I am around my desired profession, the more I'm realizing that I'll really need to know my patients to genuinely care for them. Moreover I'll need to know the other staff (Nurses, PAs, CNAs etc) on my floor to fully appreciate and encourage the jobs they each fulfill. I've seen both sides of the spectrum for doctors' sociability, and let me tell you both patients and nurses respect the doctors who genuinely spend the time to establish humility.

Perhaps more on that theory in another post. For now I can announce with great distinction that I certainly feel that I could work in Pediatric Oncology. To be able to give care in such a muddled time for a family would be a distinct honor, and perhaps may even present opportunities for some enlightened fun along the way. In any case I'm ever more excited for what the future holds, and I can't wait to invest in my patients of all shapes, sizes, and walks of life.

Traveling at the Speed of Thought

Most days my mind runs at approximately 3.2 million miles an hour. Certainly there are moments when my psyche is that of a docile house cat, but lately the full fledged cheetah has been galloping across the subsaharan trenches of my mind.

Typically there will be a series of three or four main ideas that consume me on any given day, but today I present to you the one that has been happily haunting me ever since I made the decision to return to school: doctoral specialties. I use the contradiction of "happily haunting" because I both love and fear the power and repercussions of my thoughts.

It is only natural that the question "what kind of doctor do you want to be?!" seeps into conversation about my desire to become a physician.  This question is more than fair, and I have spent many a moment thinking on it. Now before you hastily retort that there is ample time to decide these details over the course of premedical training and moreover during medical school itself, please acknowledge that I fully understand this fact. This is by no means an "end all be all" decision for my medicinal future. It's just so hard to avoid thinking about.

My gut reaction when this question arises points to the realm of pediatrics. It just seems to make sense when I add up the factors like annual participation in Hope College's Dance Marathon for the DeVos Children's Hospital, working with kids at Covenant Harbor Bible Camp and Retreat Center summer after summer, and volunteering for a multitude of child centered programs for as long as I can remember, not to mention that I currently work and live on a campus of over 600 high school students.

It'd be pleasant enough if this was as far as my mind took my quandaries. Pediatrics in and of itself is a rather distinct direction, but I can't help but delve into the realm of specialties in pediatrics. This is where the thought process breaks Mach 3 and the rest of me just hangs on for the ride. It is in these moments that the idea of pediatric oncology continues to make an appearance. This recurring thought really has had me going for some time now and I hope to unpack it a bit for you.

Without going into too much detail I'll inform you that since I've been born my family has been surrounded by cancer. I've lost several family members to varying types, and have seen firsthand how hardship and hope can coexist when it comes to such a devastating disease. Having already been such a large part of my life, it makes sense why I'd want to kick such a disease in the face, and why I feel that I'd be able to present a realistic, but hopeful perspective to each patient.

In the best possible way, this thought excites me and terrifies me at the exact same moment. The best biblical example that comes to mind is that of David and Goliath. David as we know from reading in Samuel, Kings, Chronicles, and especially the Psalms was a very emotionally complex man. As the saying goes, "he was a lover not a fighter, but don't get him wrong, he was a fighter too." Knowing this complexity it is impossible for me to think that he did not feel a rush of both fear and exhilaration at the same instant as he stood before the largest Philistine soldier in recorded history. I, like David, know that God will give me the strength and bravery to accomplish what He calls me to, but that does not mean that I can or even should be without trepidation. Without the disquiet we would not be urged into action knowing the difference between utter confidence and oblivious acceptance (a concept that I dipped into in an earlier post).

Perhaps it's this dichotomy that fuels every professional physician.

In any case, this weekend I'll have the privilege of shadowing my good friend who is a nurse at the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin up in Milwaukee. In short, I'm stoked! I'm not 100% sure what I'll see or who I'll meet, but I know that I'm excited to jump at the opportunity and hopefully tell some kids really bad jokes. I'll be sure to share my experiences, but for now it is time to let my mind wander at its usual velocity. (and speaking of velocity, Physics II starts in the morning! Huzzah!)